i cried while writing this

Teringat masa kecilku

Kau peluk dan kau manja

Indahnya saat itu

Buatku melambung

Di sisimu, terngiang

Hangat nafas segar harus tubuhmu

Kau tuturkan segala

Mimpi – mimpi serta harapanmu

Kau ingin ku menjadi

Yang terbaik bagimu

Patuhi perintahmu

Jauhkan godaan yang mungkin ku lakukan

Dlam waktuku beranjak dewasa

Jangan sampai membuatku

Terbelenggu, jatuh, dan terinjak

Tuhan tolonglah

Sampaikan sejuta sayangku untuknya

Ku trus berjanji

Tak kan khianati pintanya

Ayah dengarlah

Betapa sesungguhnya ku mencintaimu

Kan ku buktikan

Ku mampu penuhi maumu

Andaikan detik itu kan bergulir kembali

Kurindukan suasana

Basuh jiwaku

Membahagiakan aku

Yang haus akan kasih dan sayangmu

Tuk wujudkan

Segala sesuatu yang pernah terlewati

(Ada Band - Yang Terbaik Untukmu)

a nice song, yeah?

i love this song

i always shed my tears every time i listen to this song

poor me, i don't have a good memory

i don't remember my chidhood

i am a typical of "silent" person

i never could say love words even to my parents

but i do, i do love my parents much much and much

i love you papah

i want to be a best one for you

i know you didn't mean to get angry to me 

i know you just want to make me a good girl

although, sometimes, i imagine if i had another father every time you got angry too much to me

i am sorry for that, please accept my apology . .

i know for sure, i never could pay you back

i never could give money with the same amount since i was born

oh, no, since the doctor said that there was me inside mom

i can't imagine how much it is, instead

it must be a billion number of money

then i am sorry if i never told you in words that i love you always every second in my life

i am really really sorry

sorry, i always hold my tears every iedul fitri

when we, the whole family, gathered in the living room and we hugged each other and said sorry 

you always cry, but i too shy to cry

i have too big prestige, a bad side of me

sorry for that

i wish you knew surely that i love you

from every cup of coffee i have been made until now

from every score of my study i showed you

from every box of cigarette you ordered me to buy

from every your order i have done

and from every pray to God in my praying

the one i always say to God is you

mamah and papah . . .

i love you

always...

sorry i can't be a daughter as you two expected me to be

but i promise, i will be the best for you

be healthy always mam, pap

don't leave me alone

i can remember the time when you were ill pap

it was saturday, i went home from school at 2 a.m

what a surprised, i saw many people in front of the home

all men i know

and the furniture were placed outside

what is going on? that was what on my mind

i was afraid to get in home

yes, i was afraid, too afraid to get in

people's eyes didn't show happiness

those showed sorrow

i knew, i just knew, there was something happened with papah

becoz he is a man who is honored in my residence

then i made my self sure to get in

i shocked

i saw you laid on the floor, and people were standing around you, some were kneeling

i didn't put my seeing to you

i just crossed the living room

i met my brother

"papah is sick" he said

papah fell at the bathroom, that was my brother's explaining

my heart broke at that time

i wanted to cry, but i too prestige even to cry

i went to bathroom, said that i wanted to take a bath, i got too much sweat i explained

in fact, i cried in the bathroom

i washed my hair, it would hide my red eyes, it did

hhhh, i dont have anymore words to explain my feeling

above it all, i just want to say sorry i never could say love words to you two 

i am sorry  . . .

I Love You Mam, Pap

always,,